Sweet Caroline

So, I'm watching Beautiful Girls. That scene in the bar where they all sing Sweet Caroline just ended and I had to take a little break. Wistful, bittersweet, happy, nostalgic - I was way too young the last time I saw this movie to get any of what was going on underneath these characters. I thought that I did, in that blissfully ignorant way that teenagers have of assuming their angsty cloud makes them just as knowledgeable and empathetic as real life experience could. Now, having breezed right past my own nonexistent 10-year high school reunion, I am these characters. The man/boys, the friends, the girls, all of them (as much as I want to be cool like Uma, I'll always be wordy and flustered like Natalie).

It's not a perfect movie, and it has some uneven acting by otherwise dependable actors (I'm talking to you, Timothy Hutton). But it hits a lot of perfect notes in moments where the characters realize they're 30 (or 35 or 40) and have no idea how they got there, aren't sure if they're ready to be here, and are hit with that sinking feeling that comes with the awareness that they can't rewind so they better get off their asses and hit play.

DFW Part I

OK, I've officially joined the cult. I've become one of those people who carries around a 5lb copy of Infinite Jest in their bag. I'm the whole way through the Dave Eggers intro! C'mon, I only got it yesterday. IJ is one of those weird things that you're completely unaware of until you catch a glimpse of it, and then it's everywhere. Friends have read it, are in love with it, don't know how they ever lived without it. Other friends have started it but "just can't do it." Websites dissect its deeper meaning. It's universally described as "work" but "worth it," (even in the Eggers intro).

So, a challenge, is it? The last 1,000+-page book I read was the unabridged version of Stephen King's The Stand that came out in the early 90's. I didn't even like King's fiction, but I was no wuss! Those people saying they couldn't get through it were clearly pussies, so I went out and borrowed a copy of the book. It took me 2 weeks to read it, working around my work schedule and pregnancy issues. Ha! Pussies.*

Anyway, I can't resist what I consider to be the literary equivalent of a triple-dog-dare. So here I am, carrying around this giant tome in my already-heavy bag.

When I was debating purchase (because friends and libraries should NOT entrust me with a copy of a book it's going to take me this long to read and expect it returned to them in anything resembling the condition I received it in), my friend Aaron sent me a link to David Foster Wallace's short stories so I could decide if it was worth the expense. I was sucked in within minutes, so off I trotted to buy the book. I'm totally looking forward to this slab of a book providing an enlightening, enriching, engrossing (en, en, en...) distraction for the duration of the long hot summer.

*I actually ended up really liking The Stand. Who knew?

Overture

I've been agonizing for days: How do I start this blog? What dazzling display of literary prowess should I pick for that first, all-important post? Do I write off the top of my head and hope it comes out genius? Do I recycle something previously written for somewhere else because it's already been criticized and judged? What do I talk about - something personal or something universal that more potential readers can relate to? Well, I guess that all depends on just who those potential readers are, doesn't it? So the big question, for me, is: Am I going to let anyone I know read this? And I guess the answer is that if I keep writing, eventually someone I know is going to see my blog. So, discretion being the better part of valor, I'll treat this as a public forum and bear in mind that once you put something on the internet you can never take it back. Much like in real life, though, I don't think I'll be able to stick to that old maxim, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," because there frankly wouldn't be much fun in blogging, then, would there?

All of this assumes, of course, that anyone out there gives a rat's ass about anything I have to say, and that potential readers, known or unknown, exist at all.

So,to you, my potentially-nonexistent-potential-readers, I post this first, jumbled introduction, and hope you'll come back for more. And that I will. And that this is the beginning of a beautiful, self-referential, self-deprecating, hopefully-not-too-meta friendship.